This is the 3rd posting for this continued chapter. The final paragraph of the previous post is repeated for continuity.
“Really?” Madeline said. She did delight in this man who had never been around a baby, never held a baby in his entire 55-year-old life. She had watched him stand at a terrified, awkward distance when he came to the hospital after Dylan was born. She had watched him thaw, gradually at first. She had seen him become mesmerized. She had heard him say, more than once, that maybe, no definitely, if he had met her earlier in his life, the two of them would have would have made a family together. Fuck. What do you say to that? And here he was, offering to mix a bottle of infant formula for a baby whose 15-year-old mother was catching up on her sleep with some lost boy named Jose, because she was pissed at her baby daddy who had flirted with another girl thousands of miles away.
Dan left the room and returned a few brief seconds later. “There’s no formula left. None.”
He retrieved the empty container from the kitchen and held it out to her, shaking it around for emphasis.
Madeline sighed heavily.
“She needs to figure this out,” Dan said. “She insists she wants this baby, and she needs to figure this out.”
“She’s fifteen years old,” Madeline said. “She ain’t gonna figure out shit.”
“Well, as long as she’s here, she’s gonna try.” Dan turned on his heels and sprang up the stairs to the second floor. Madeline held her breath, picturing Dan clenching and unclenching his jaw in her head. The lightness of his knock on Savannah’s door surprised her, as did the gentle voice that matched it.
“Savannah?” Dan said. “You need to get up. We’re completely out of formula. You need to go get some.”
After a short pause, Savannah’s groggy voice replied, “OK. I’m up. OK”
Dan remained at her door until he heard a general stirring of activity, then said, “Try to hurry up. Dylan’s already hungry.”
Dan rejoined Madeline in the sun room, where Dylan had drifted into a light snooze on her shoulder. “Nicely done,” she said. “You handled that well.”
“I think we would have made really good parents,” Dan said.
“To a 15-year-old unwed mother? Great.”
“No. You know that’s not what I meant. You make all of this look so…appealing. Like no other choices or other kinds of lives make sense to even consider,” he said.
A highly disheveled Savannah appeared in the doorway, joined at the hip to a skinny wraith of a boy who brought to mind the word “wan” despite his Hispanic heritage.
“I guess we’ll have to walk over to the Walgreen’s to get some,” Savannah said.
“OK. He’s fallen asleep. He’s fine for now,” Madeline said.
“I mean, Marie usually takes me to that place where I can get the formula for free, but there’s no way to get there cause she’s at work, right?” Savannah offered.
“Right,” said Dan, before Madeline could answer.
“So I guess we’ll walk over to the Walgreen’s.”
“So…I need to borrow the money for it,” Savannah said.
“You need to borrow the money?”
“Don’t worry; Marie will pay you back as soon as she gets home. It’s usually, like, $25 for a container. Can you believe it’s so expensive? God, I’m SO glad we get it free.”
“I’m not worried,” Madeline said. “Let me rephrase. I’m not worried about getting paid back by Marie.”
Dan reached into his pants pocket. “I’ve got a 20 right here. Do you have the rest, Savannah? Five bucks or so?”
“Um, no, well, I can count up my change,” Savannah said. “I might have it.”
“Never mind counting change. You can get the rest out of my wallet,” Madeline said.
“OK. Thanks,” Savannah said. “Hey MadMad, can I borrow your jacket? Again?” She giggled.
“So I guess you want us to watch Dylan while you two go off to the store,” Dan said.
“Oh. Right. No, we can take him.” Savannah looked over at the silent, sunken waif at her side.
“Except I think he barfed all over the carrier. I think I need to wash it.”
“No reason to wake a hungry baby to take him outside in a barf-covered carrier. If you guys hurry, I’ll have enough time to get to work,” Madeline said. “So hurry.”
With a general kerfuffle and Savannah making approximately ten times the number of movements as The Wraith, the front door closed behind them. Dylan moved his head and frowned slightly in his sleep.
“Talkative chap, isn’t he?” Dan said.
“Jose? Yeah. He’s grown about a foot and is otherwise unrecognizable from the kid I met a couple of years ago; but I don’t remember him saying a single word back then either. He just sort of followed Savannah from room to room. She ate it up at first, but then she got more and more annoyed and ending up treating him pretty much like shit – calling and texting other guys the whole time he was around – until he vanished. It was an interesting ‘relationship.’”
“Ah. Well, it makes sense then that they’ve hooked up again,” Dan said.
The two of them chuckled softly. “It’s kind of not funny,” Madeline said.
“It’s not funny at all,” Dan said. “That’s why we’re laughing.”
photos by Diane Arbus
2 Replies to ““There Is No Formula,” new from the novel “Pushing the River””
I enjoy reading these excerpts. For me, you’ve pretty much captured the essence of these events. I’m curious how you will pull it all together to become something more than excellent reportage. Great job!
Oh crap! Are you saying I need to pull it all together?!?!